Obedience is a concept I learned at a very young age. For a while that only consisted of obeying my parents and authority, and staying out of trouble. As I've grown up I've noticed that obedience and loyalty have gone hand-in-hand on multiple occasions. Because I have committed myself to this or that organization I have an obligation to fulfill that commitment to the best of my ability and do whatever I can in my power to do what's best for the people that I have pledged loyalty to. I've started reading "Kisses from Katie" by Katie Davis and I can 100% say this is a remarkable story of obedience...and I've gotten through the Introduction. She talks a lot about how this life is not hers. She says "Jesus called His followers to be a lot of things, but I have yet to find where He warned us to be safe. We are not called to be safe, we are simply promised that when we are in danger, God is right there with us." I mean you can't argue with that. There's no way to put it more simply. This life isn't mine to do whatever I want with it. I have committed my life to Jesus and will do whatever I can in my power to further His Kingdom. Wherever He calls me to go I will run with obedience (easier said than done though right?).
Whenever I feel doubtful or discouraged I am reminded of Moses in Exodus 4:10-12.
Moses said to the Lord, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue." The Lord said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go, I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."
Sometimes...most times...I don't feel adequate or well-equipped enough to do what I feel Him calling me to do. Well duh Sara, you're not. I don't have the perfect words to say, but I know God will provide those. Sometimes I feel like the circumstances have to be extreme for me to understand whether or not I am "obeying" his calling. But they don't. It could be so simple as maintaining relationships or starting new ones; pursuing passions and celebrating the little victories.
I don't intend for this to sound like a sermon. Who am I to preach to you? This is a sermon and reminder to myself that when I don't obey that I'll get that empty feeling in the pit of my stomach that can only be filled with obedience to what I have committed my life to. I don't have to have $3 billion to change the world. Katie touched on this in her Introduction, too. She said that if she could change the world for one little girl or one starving child, and if one person saw the love of Christ through her than it was worth every minute. I'm starting a strange transition phase in my life so for me all I feel like I can do right now is pray and wait. But not wait passively...wait actively searching out God's will for my life...continuing to love difficult people. Loving them without hypocrisy.
"Rejoice always."
love you. mean it.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
when i grow up
"in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."--Proverbs 3:6
Unsure about what you want to do with your life or tired of doing the same old thing? Let me humor you.
Here's a list...from what i can remember...about what I wanted to be when I grew up. They're pretty much in order I think.
1. Teacher: Shocker...what little girl didn't want to be a teacher?
2. A veterinarian: I quickly decided against this because I couldn't handle the smell and Dad kept reminding me that I didn't even like to play with Scat.
3. An orthodontist: I stayed with this career path longer than most. I told God I didn't want to do this when I was in Wednesday night church in GA's. We watch a video of Dr. Taylor doing work on people in Mexico. I had to leave the room and went home crying because the sight of some of their teeth and mouths. Mama kept telling me that I didn't have to do that, but I already had the conversation with God and He told me I didn't have to do it either.
4. Domestic engineer: This is a fancy term for "stay at home mom". My mom seemed to have it pretty good...why couldn't I do that? Funny, mom. (I still think I'd make a great celebrity-wife)
5. Professional athlete: It's okay you can laugh.
6. Sports psychiatrist: Mama really encouraged me to do this. Dad told me I wasn't sympathetic and didn't deal well listening to other people's problems. Dad wins.
7. Professional DECA-teer: Lauren Hayes and I placed 3rd in the nation. Unfortunately this is not a real job. Maybe I should have wanted to run the Commando Corner until my dying days...
8. Pharmaceutical sales: I still think I would be really good at this. Do I wish I was?...somedays. It took me 3 minutes just now to figure out how to spell it though.
9. Nursing: Not my calling. You can laugh if you want. I think I could have done it.
10. Event coordinator: I wanted to plan events to raise money to build international orphanages. I am still 100% alright with dropping everything I am doing and doing this instead. I need a partner though. Hit me up if you're interested.
11. Missionary: Done. The classroom is my mission field. Would I want to travel and do this in a different environment?...absolutely. Partner preferred but not required.
12. Teacher: And here we are; back in square 1.
I know some of these seem ridiculous--especially coming from someone like me--but in all of this lies a really important lesson (well multiple lessons but whatever): God knows what He wants me to do better than I do. If something didn't work out for me I got upset. But if it didn't work out it was usually because I found something else I wanted to do. In the end, to an extent it doesn't really matter what I do, as long as I do it with the intention to further His Kingdom. So "take heart! For [God] has overcome the world" (John 16:33)...so you don't have to (luckily...because I don't trust you).
"Whatever you do, work at it with all of your heart, as working for the LORD, not for men."
--Colossians 3:23
love you. mean it.
Unsure about what you want to do with your life or tired of doing the same old thing? Let me humor you.
Here's a list...from what i can remember...about what I wanted to be when I grew up. They're pretty much in order I think.
1. Teacher: Shocker...what little girl didn't want to be a teacher?
2. A veterinarian: I quickly decided against this because I couldn't handle the smell and Dad kept reminding me that I didn't even like to play with Scat.
3. An orthodontist: I stayed with this career path longer than most. I told God I didn't want to do this when I was in Wednesday night church in GA's. We watch a video of Dr. Taylor doing work on people in Mexico. I had to leave the room and went home crying because the sight of some of their teeth and mouths. Mama kept telling me that I didn't have to do that, but I already had the conversation with God and He told me I didn't have to do it either.
4. Domestic engineer: This is a fancy term for "stay at home mom". My mom seemed to have it pretty good...why couldn't I do that? Funny, mom. (I still think I'd make a great celebrity-wife)
5. Professional athlete: It's okay you can laugh.
6. Sports psychiatrist: Mama really encouraged me to do this. Dad told me I wasn't sympathetic and didn't deal well listening to other people's problems. Dad wins.
7. Professional DECA-teer: Lauren Hayes and I placed 3rd in the nation. Unfortunately this is not a real job. Maybe I should have wanted to run the Commando Corner until my dying days...
8. Pharmaceutical sales: I still think I would be really good at this. Do I wish I was?...somedays. It took me 3 minutes just now to figure out how to spell it though.
9. Nursing: Not my calling. You can laugh if you want. I think I could have done it.
10. Event coordinator: I wanted to plan events to raise money to build international orphanages. I am still 100% alright with dropping everything I am doing and doing this instead. I need a partner though. Hit me up if you're interested.
11. Missionary: Done. The classroom is my mission field. Would I want to travel and do this in a different environment?...absolutely. Partner preferred but not required.
12. Teacher: And here we are; back in square 1.
I know some of these seem ridiculous--especially coming from someone like me--but in all of this lies a really important lesson (well multiple lessons but whatever): God knows what He wants me to do better than I do. If something didn't work out for me I got upset. But if it didn't work out it was usually because I found something else I wanted to do. In the end, to an extent it doesn't really matter what I do, as long as I do it with the intention to further His Kingdom. So "take heart! For [God] has overcome the world" (John 16:33)...so you don't have to (luckily...because I don't trust you).
"Whatever you do, work at it with all of your heart, as working for the LORD, not for men."
--Colossians 3:23
love you. mean it.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
decisions are your friend
I hate making decisions. I don't like picking where we go to eat or what movie we watch. I am indecisive. The only way you'll get me to decide is to give me options to go by. Give me 5, I'll pick 3, and you pick the last one...or give me 3 and I'll choose 1. Mama thinks I'm crazy. "Decisions are your friend, Sara" is what she told me when I left for this last semester of college. The way she sees it is that the world is at my fingertips and I can do whatever I want with it. I'd rather someone tell me "hey, this is where you're going. Good luck." I think the reason I have such a hard time making decisions is because I don't want to make a wrong decision. Naturally there are consequences for every choice...some are good consequences and some are bad. I don't want to make a bad decision and end up 800 miles from home, north of the Mason-Dixon line or west of the Mississippi, living in a 1-bedroom apartment by myself eating cheese sandwiches. Making decisions that could put me in those situations is becoming more and more relevant in this chapter of my life. I have to make decisions about where I'm going to apply for jobs, where I want to live, and if I know anybody in any of these places. Another reason I think I'm scared to make decisions is the fear of rejection. I don't want to fail...and I don't want to disappoint anybody. I have failed and been rejected plenty of times in the past 8 years and where I could say its shaped me into who I am today, I can also say that it sucks to have to go through it time after time.
However, I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. I will stand by that until the day that I die. I also know God won't give you anything that you can't handle. I didn't go to Clemson for a reason only God knows why. I'm not going to Memphis because God is calling me elsewhere. Where I know all of this and believe all of this, it is sooo hard for me to come to terms with and apply to my "daily decision-making"...if that makes sense. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to love on poor, high-poverty, at-risk kids...I just now know (through much disappointment) it's not in Memphis. I just have to decide now where that is. I still hate making decision, but as Dad would say "It's just a part of growing up." Thanks Dad...so much wisdom and compassion. He'd then go on to sing a line of a song...probably Corey Smith.."It's a season of change, and the time we've waited for is here." I hate when he does that, and I hate even more to admit that he's right. I don't cope well with change, but knowing that I am placed here for a specific purposed gives me assurance that I'll end up where I'm supposed to be. It'll all work out like it's supposed to.
"for I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you, not to harm you; plans to give you a hope and a future." --Jeremiah 29:11
However, I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. I will stand by that until the day that I die. I also know God won't give you anything that you can't handle. I didn't go to Clemson for a reason only God knows why. I'm not going to Memphis because God is calling me elsewhere. Where I know all of this and believe all of this, it is sooo hard for me to come to terms with and apply to my "daily decision-making"...if that makes sense. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to love on poor, high-poverty, at-risk kids...I just now know (through much disappointment) it's not in Memphis. I just have to decide now where that is. I still hate making decision, but as Dad would say "It's just a part of growing up." Thanks Dad...so much wisdom and compassion. He'd then go on to sing a line of a song...probably Corey Smith.."It's a season of change, and the time we've waited for is here." I hate when he does that, and I hate even more to admit that he's right. I don't cope well with change, but knowing that I am placed here for a specific purposed gives me assurance that I'll end up where I'm supposed to be. It'll all work out like it's supposed to.
"for I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you, not to harm you; plans to give you a hope and a future." --Jeremiah 29:11
Monday, January 2, 2012
guilty
#1- I had 2 people (Will and Preston) contact me and tell me it annoyed them that I didn't use correct capitalization...so I'll fix that from now on...my bad guys.
#2- I know this is 2 days in a row but don't get used to it because it probably won't happen like that.
I have a confession to make. So yesterday, after I posted my first blog, I went to Walmart. I was focused and on a mission and didn't really wanna see anyone I knew (which is near impossible in hvegas). I saw somebody off to the side and darted the direction I needed to go to try and avoid them. As soon as I did that I realized that was not what I had written about 20 minutes earlier. So then I felt really bad for about 20 seconds because I went down an aisle and naturally saw someone I knew. So I talked to them for a little while and went to check out and of course I see the people I was originally trying to avoid. I saw they were clearly upset. It turns out they were talking to a woman whose husband passed away a few months ago. I didn't have to do anything but smile and listen to what they had to say.
So it was obvious that I needed to see those people and God knew that better than I did. I tried to make it a quick trip but He wanted to use me for something else. It's about making yourself available to others. I didn't have to tell them anything interesting, they just wanted to talk. All I had to do was listen...and it wasn't physically challenging for me to smile either.
Try and smile at someone new every day.
So that was part one of my trip. On the way back I couldn't help but think about the woman who lost her husband.
Why do bad things happen to good people? The answer is simple. We live in a fallen world--a world full of sin. The answer may be simple, but that doesnt mean the dealing with the situation is that simple. It's not...but I don't think it's supposed to be. God has a plan. A perfect plan that is greater than I could ever begin to dream to create for myself. People disappoint and people fail, but God never fails. We have to have faith that He knows what He's doing. The Creator of the universe...I'd say He has it all figured out, we just have to trust that. He never promised anything would be easy, and why would it be? What have any of us done to think we deserve the easy road? I surely don't deserve it so I know better than to expect it. I don't think you should always expect the worse, but know that whatever happens happens for a very specific purpose. There is a bigger picture that I cannot see or comprehend. That's okay, I'm not supposed to. Wheres the fun in that right?
"Rejoice always."
love ya. mean it.
#2- I know this is 2 days in a row but don't get used to it because it probably won't happen like that.
I have a confession to make. So yesterday, after I posted my first blog, I went to Walmart. I was focused and on a mission and didn't really wanna see anyone I knew (which is near impossible in hvegas). I saw somebody off to the side and darted the direction I needed to go to try and avoid them. As soon as I did that I realized that was not what I had written about 20 minutes earlier. So then I felt really bad for about 20 seconds because I went down an aisle and naturally saw someone I knew. So I talked to them for a little while and went to check out and of course I see the people I was originally trying to avoid. I saw they were clearly upset. It turns out they were talking to a woman whose husband passed away a few months ago. I didn't have to do anything but smile and listen to what they had to say.
So it was obvious that I needed to see those people and God knew that better than I did. I tried to make it a quick trip but He wanted to use me for something else. It's about making yourself available to others. I didn't have to tell them anything interesting, they just wanted to talk. All I had to do was listen...and it wasn't physically challenging for me to smile either.
Try and smile at someone new every day.
So that was part one of my trip. On the way back I couldn't help but think about the woman who lost her husband.
Why do bad things happen to good people? The answer is simple. We live in a fallen world--a world full of sin. The answer may be simple, but that doesnt mean the dealing with the situation is that simple. It's not...but I don't think it's supposed to be. God has a plan. A perfect plan that is greater than I could ever begin to dream to create for myself. People disappoint and people fail, but God never fails. We have to have faith that He knows what He's doing. The Creator of the universe...I'd say He has it all figured out, we just have to trust that. He never promised anything would be easy, and why would it be? What have any of us done to think we deserve the easy road? I surely don't deserve it so I know better than to expect it. I don't think you should always expect the worse, but know that whatever happens happens for a very specific purpose. There is a bigger picture that I cannot see or comprehend. That's okay, I'm not supposed to. Wheres the fun in that right?
"Rejoice always."
love ya. mean it.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
happy new year
ask anyone, I'm not a blogger. i have no idea what this is gonna look like or what all it'll entail but here it goes. ill probably ramble and talk in circles but whatever. y'all will probably read a lot about my kids (students i don't have any of my own blood) and teaching endeavors, and a lot about my family. maybe you'll laugh or be inspired or fall asleep i don't know.
my name is sara tarpley and i am originally from hendersonville, tennessee. I'm 21 and a senior elementary education major at samford university in birmingham, alabama. excuse my grammar and lack of correct punctuation and capitalization. i love kids (obviously), am passionate about urban education, and i can't wait to see where i end up after graduation--which i get really anxious about and am not gonna talk about at this moment.
as you know, today is new years day. i went to church this morning and brother bruce introduced part 1 of a 5 week series on being "intentional". "intentional" is a word i became very familiar with when i came to college. being "intentional" with friends--new friends in school and staying in touch with friends from high school (which i kinda suck at I'm really sorry y'all but i promise I'm working on it), having "intentional" relationships, asking "intentional" questions. his sermon today was from Romans 12:9-13. verse 9 says that "love must be sincere"...that directly translated means "love without hypocrisy" (hence where i got the name for the blog). this is a crazy year for me and most of my friends. its a time of change and a lot of "lasts" and a lot of uneasiness about where I'm supposed to be and leaving my friends to go wherever I'm called to go. blah blah blah to you who can't relate but you just wait.
so this year i've decided to love. my goal isn't to fall in love but to love people with a real, sincere love it talks about in Romans. a love without pretending, acting, faking, without hypocrisy. instead of focusing on how to get over the imperfections of difficult people, i will try to "cling to what is good" (vs.9) and dwell on what makes those people special.
"rejoice always". this year...and by year i really mean day-by-day...i will celebrate the little victories. ill rejoice always for the LORD is good and the LORD is perfect.
no doubt this will be difficult and some days i will fail but practice makes perfect so practice i will and ill so creatively write about it. if i can do it you can do it.
love y'all. mean it.
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